its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am available for nakedness
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
