i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
