please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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