Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
