So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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