the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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