I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize