She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He shit in the fireplace
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
