I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
