He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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