The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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