Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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