dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
