I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
