my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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