just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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