we're blogging at a bar
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
is that a dick in a sweater?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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