she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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