Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sext me about skeletons
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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