I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
