I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
