let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize