I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
