My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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