This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
