Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
