and you said cock pushups were impossible
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
