she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
