How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
