never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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