Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
