Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
