you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
