My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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