is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
