Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
