i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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