That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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