You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
