I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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