I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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