doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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