Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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