Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
