Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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