So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
