i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
