Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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