White coat. Heels.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
