At least make sure they are 18
Why
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
