someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
