After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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