I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
