Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
