you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
