just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
