Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
